Going off the whole 30 deep end

So I recently posted how great I did on vacation on the whole 30. Well, now I'm going to disappoint all of you.

Mexico. Great vacation spot. Wonderful beaches. What is the one thing you always must remember? DO NOT DRINK THE WATER. I swear I was so careful. So damn careful. But even still, Montezuma's Revenge was all too real when I got back to America. I got back Tuesday night, and started feeling it, but chalked it up to a day of travelling. But that night I was up every hour. I took a sick day Wednesday. Now who in their right mind cares what you are eating when you have the stomach flu? Not I.

I honestly didn't eat much of anything Wednesday. I ate an egg, no bueno. Mostly just water for me that day, and then I made a chicken noodle soup with approved broth. That didn't even sound good at all. So by the time I woke up Thursday, I had negative 1000% energy. I thought I was going to pass out on my way to work so I knew I needed to eat. NOTHING sounded good. Except oatmeal. It was all I could think about for the 20 minute drive to work. Was it worth it to give in? Abso-fucking-lutely. So i stopped at the store and bought some and boy was it magical. Thursday all I ate was 2 packs of oatmeal and a Gatorade. Sure, none of that is Whole 30 approved, but since nothing was staying in my system anyway, I did not care either way. This is basically the same thing I did Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Side bar. I've traveled to Mexico and South America numerous times before, and always seem to have the same issues no matter how careful I am. However, this is the worst it's ever been.

Monday I was feeling better, so I tried eating normal, but still having minor issues. I think maybe eating clean didn't help since my stomach is used to greasy yummy foods that have no nutritional value.

I finally felt better Tuesday. Completely back to normal. But the WORST THING EVER happened. I guess now that I could finally stomach real foods, I was craving everything under the sun that is not Whole 30 approved. I wanted a Mcgriddle for breakfast, pasta for lunch, froyo for snack and Chinese for dinner. I didn't give in, but I was miserable mentally. I did not think I would make it the next two weeks. I was absolutely dying. So i settled. I had Freebirds (it's chipotle but better), and actually found a blog that had the Whole 30 approved items on it. I had a "salad bowl" with lettuce, grass fed steak, grilled veggies, pico de gallo and guac. Sure there were no rice or beans, but man it tasted like something I shouldn't be eating, so all cravings were curbed. And I've been great ever since!

So moral of the story, find something that tastes like its bad for you, even if it isn't. You'll be so happy.

Whole 30 on Vacation (Say whaaaa)

So. After one whole week of the whole 30, I went to Mexico to celebrate! Just kidding. This family trip had been planned for quite some time, but I decided I would stick to the rules as much as possible. And I have to say, I think I did an amazing job.

I arrived on Friday around 3 PM. My parents had lunch waiting, we had grilled chicken, veggies and guacamole. All Whole 30 approved.

That night we walked into the town and had dinner. I ordered the Rib-eye special, because it came with grilled veggies and potatoes. Side bar- I am pretty fluent in Spanish. Like I get by way better than most Americans, and can communicate very well. With that being said, I don't speak metric system. The guy apparently told us how big the steak was, but in kilos or something, so whatever he said didn't register in my mind. Well I got this steak, and it was 2.3 pounds!!! It was huge. So huge. But so damn delicious. here's a pic, this is after my step dad and I ate about.... 1/4 of it probably.

So Day 1 in the books,and no cheating! 

Day 2 rolls around. We walked to this all natural juice bar, where i had a fresh smoothie with no dairy products. Lunch, we had steak and eggs. So much left over steak it fed 3 adults. Damn. That night, the owner of the house prepared grilled Mahi Mahi, roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes (whole 30 approved), shrimp ceviche, and guacamole. Oh my god it was amazing, and once again NO CHEATING!

Day 3... we had the juice bar again for breakfast. We walked to the beach and ate at a cute little place. i had a giant plate of scrambled eggs with chorizo and avocado and good stuff like that. I don't know what they cook it all in oil wise, but for the most part all of the restaurants use avocado oil and natural stuff. I know that there probably are some things that slip in there, but you know what, every place we went to had Brick oven pizza and I didn't eat it EVER AND ITS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE. For dinner we ate at a super fancy Italian restaurant. This menu was the trickiest. But lucky for me, i asked how they made the gnocchi, and the guy informed me there is no gluten, it's just potatoes and olive oil! Score. Gnocchi is my favorite. So i had that. and watched my niece and nephew devour brick oven pizza and i think i literally drooled watching them. 

Day 4.. So this is the day I finally cheated. We went Ziplining which was probably the coolest thing ever. And after we were done, they handed us a beer and continued to a tequila tasting. I couldn't not taste the tequilas. Sorry. YOLO. Then for lunch, I ordered a chorizo burger with avocado and bacon. I didn't eat the bun. Do I know if the bacon in mexico has perservatives? No. Do i care? also NO. Then at dinner I had lobster :) and more grilled potatoes and veggies. I did try a bean dip, because it looked absolutely amazing, and hummus and hummus type things are one of my favorite foods.

Day 5: Airport travel day. I had a banana, tangerine, and lara bar for breakfast. For lunch, I went to Chili's. I had the chicken fajitas with no tortillas and guac. Again, not sure what oil it was cooked in, but it was dang close enough. I also had a fruit salad later on in the day. 

Overall, it wasn't too hard to stick to the Whole 30 on vacation, but next time I will make sure I'm not on something so restrictive. 

Adios,

Ellen 

Whole 30 Week 1 Meal Plan

It's 11:38 AM of Day 1 and my tummy is grumbling already.. 

I need coffee. I tried to drink black coffee at work, and kid you not it tasted like straight cigarettes. I think I'll try the nut pods. They're Whole 30 approved creamers, and I need something. I'm so sluggish and unproductive!


So my company had a End of Year/Beginning of Year party Saturday. This was kind of my last hoorah so I enjoyed a few or 12 cocktails and was severely hungover on Sunday. But that did not stop me! I went to the store and meal prepped like it's my job. Here is what I made:

Sweet Potato Hash

Ingredients:

2 sweet potatoes

3 strips of bacon

1/2 onion

1 jalapeno

4 eggs

Instructions:

microwave your potatoes to get them almost done.

first fry the bacon in the skillet, once it's almost done add everything but the eggs.

Once that is mostly done, and the onions are sauteed, add the eggs and scramble.

You can add garlic to taste. 

Paleo chili in the instant pot

Ingredients:

1 lb ground beef

1 can fiery roasted tomatoes

1 8 oz can of tomato sauce

1 16 oz can of tomato paste

1 sweet potato cubed

5 slices of bacon

1/2 onion (any color)

Instructions:

saute bacon using saute setting

add onions and saute again

add everything else!

use meat/stew setting (about 30 min)

Rainbow Chicken and Veggie Medley

Ingredients:

Whatever 4 veggies you want, but these are the most aesthetically pleasing

Tomatoes

asparagus

zucchini

purple onion

2 chicken breasts

Instructions:

Cover pan in coconut oil

place all your veggies on it

cover chicken in coconut oil

add garlic and onion powder and red chili flakes

cook in the oven at 450 for 15-20 min 

So snacks are kinda the biggest issue. I found out there are certain Lara Bars that are compliant, but those apparently are in case of emergency. UGH cmon.

And then you're not supposed to eat a bunch of fruit. SERIOUSLY. And no ranch or hummus to dip veggies in. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

So I apologize for the anger that will come out of me, I'm just starving. 

I also leave for 5 days in Mexico Friday. HAHAHA great idea Ellen, start this right before vacation. HAHAHA. but you watch, I'll totally rock it. 

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

Ellen 

Who is Ellen, and why is she getting fit?

I am Ellen. I am a 20- something "professional" living in Dallas. I really hate that sentence, but it's a great explanation without giving away every detail of my life. I'm currently fat, and that's no one's fault but my own. I love to eat, I love to drink, and I love to NOT exercise. This combined with a 45+ hour work week of sitting on a computer = FATTY McFATPANTS. And I truly accept it. I have to, because I let myself get this way, no one did it to me, and if you can't accept your own failures and laugh at yourself, you fuckin' suck. Sorry. 

So that is me, and now this is what I want to do. 

These are my goals (i'm not staying quiet), rewards, plans etc. And sorry for all the lists I'm bound to post, but i'm severely Type A and if you don't like it, suck it. 

1. I want to get down to my pre-college size. NOT WEIGHT. I don't think my 18 year old weight of 155 will work now that I am an actual woman. But i want to be a comfortable size 6/8, and I think that 170 is my goal weight.

Here are some pics of me back in my prime

 This was after about 6 weeks of Crossfit, Sophomore year of college.

I think I was 18 here? I don't know. Could've been right before I went to college. I just know at the time I thought I was so fat, look at me covering my "love handles." if only you could see mine now!

2. My first chronological goal is to lose 10% of my body weight by March 31st. One of my close guy friends from high school always makes this his New Year's Resolution, and I really like it. I need to set tangible goals or I will get nowhere. so 23 pounds in 90ish days? doable. 

3. I am doing the Whole 30. I'm fairly certain I have a few food intolerance's because i constantly feel disgusting, and this is a great way to kick start this healthy lifestyle I'm adopting.

4. Crossfit. I have always loved Crossfit. I hate the Price, but I bought a Groupon. Booyah. 
5. I guess I lied, my first goal is the 5k I'm running on March 11. HAHAHA I effing hate running so much. Shoot me now. Maybe I'll get shin splints or another slightly painfulish injury I can deal with, but will inhibit my running. *fingers crossed* 

WAIT STOP ELLEN. THIS IS WHY YOU ARE FAT. NO EXCUSES. THAT CELLULITE ON YOUR THIGHS WILL STAY THERE FOREVER OTHERWISE.



So Normally, I would post a photo of me now, so you can track my progress. But there are two issues. 1) I am taking before pictures of myself basically half naked that will never make it on the internet. 2) all of my photos not half naked are editing using those amazing apps and aren't true to size.

 <So fucking what, everyone uses them, stop lying to yourself if you don't. I look effing phenomenal with them. >




So that's really all I have for now...
Adios.
Ellen